Peer Pressure : Comparing Your Growth?

 

        Peer Pressure leads us to a world of depression. When I was young and tender, I had no plans for my career and now I am doing a role which I never knew before graduation. I should also tell you that I really enjoy what I do. Doesn’t it sound familiar? This is the story for most of us in this modern day. Technology is changing so rapidly that we have to be on a constant learning curve just to stay neck to neck with our peers. 

Now we should discuss, GROWTH. This is a very subjective term and its definition varies person to person. It is a hypothetical source to measure the success which itself is intangible in nature. On the whole, growth is something we all try to discuss in front of an audience. In some way, it is our success story. It is a legacy we all want to have for us and our successors.

Inception of Idea of growth in Life

This is a term which might have come across in every course of life in one or the other form. Kids are always asked to perform in front of others. Every parent wants to show their kid’s growth. The grades of the kids are the most discussed topic in the family circle. In the latter part of the life, our parents become very suggestive and worried about the career of the kids. Teens are worried about their social circle. After starting the job, growth comes in terms of financial growth and career growth. After having kids, again we are worried about the growth of our kids and life goes on.

What is growth for you?

The above paragraph might have some hints about the types of growth that we look for in life

  1. Physical Growth
  2. Career Growth
  3. Financial Growth

Physical Growth: How we grow physically mostly depends on our genes and lifestyles. Still, we have a constant worry about our looks every day. How we look, dress or behave is a big thing for most of us. We always try to impress our circle, society just to gain the so-called status. We always think it really matters to others. We do whatever it takes to lift up the self-esteem. We go to gym and parlors, buy the best-branded clothes and the list is never-ending. We have become brand conscious people.   

Career Growth: I think, nobody denies career growth. These days, everybody is giving their efforts to have success in career. Career growth is something we every day analyze and try to get more from our competition. Whenever we meet someone, we always tend to know what position he or she is working. We always want our visiting cards printed with some big designation. People who all are on social platform tend to tweak their designation to show their growth in their career. We are always lured by the notion of such people with big designations.

Financial Growth: The most important factor of our lives, right? If your parents are from the middle of the socioeconomic level, we know the importance of financial growth. We all want to have a financial growth which is stable, more than our needs. Few people say spend according to your income and some will say that manipulate your earnings according to your expenditure. Both are correct to some extent. We always want a bigger car, house and social status or whatever boost the show of our financial growth

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The Comparison

The most comical part of our struggle is that we do not make a benchmark to compare our life development. This leads to a very irrational option which is comparing ourselves to others. We are comparing our one part of life with other peers. Let me give an example, why I say that this is irrational:

Person A is driving a car which carries 5 people with comfortability. There is another person who is driving a bus which can carry 50-60 people. If person A says that he can only talk to 4 people but the bus driver can talk to more than 50, which in a way is true. But, do you think both person A and B are in the same situation?

The irrational comparison is the major factor which gives the whole idea a no go. Comparing our one aspect of life with other cannot pacify you. You will get nothing from the comparison. The output is absolute zero. What you get in return, is the sense of inferiority. Your growth is stagnant till you look into others for the answers.

We are always interested in the success stories of others. We read the autobiographies. People try to replicate others to grow which is sometimes successful but your chances to lose are more. You can replicate the work but can you replicate the conditions which the successful person had? Can you replicate the magnitude of hard work which is also relative, subjective and intangible in nature?

We need to understand that while looking into the lives of others, we invest our valuable time and mental energy in thinking about it.

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Methods of Comparison

When was the last time, you were deep diving into the social media profiles of your peers to see what is happening? Maybe few minutes back or today only. Facebook is the best source of cursing yourself and envying others. We are not interested in the person but do have a check on the things, holidays and success he is getting. Then we go into the self-humiliation mode.

Discussing the third person in our general conversation is another big source of material which dupes in comparing with others. We actually never praise the person rather

What to do?

Did you ever notice that kids get happy so easily? Yes, maybe. They actually have their own space in which remain happy or cry. They do not have that tendency and time to look into others. This cannot go with adults. We have all these social circles and professional groups where we always have some self-propaganda to throw on others. Still, there are multiple ways which can prove to be helpful in getting goals fulfilled.

  1. Try to define your goals. You should have long-term as well as short-term ones. Never miss remembering them on daily basis. The more specific you are, there are more chances to succeed.
  2. Work on them on daily basis.
  3. Maintain a great work-life balance.
  4. Have some time for your family, hobbies and self.
  5. Love and respect yourself, your job.
  6. Do not follow a success story blindly. Get inspired but do not replicate.
  7. Do not compare with a person just because he is the same job or business. Your success depends upon the result oriented efforts. Do them.
  8. Your mental introspection should be about your goals. Try to find the road to the destination you want to reach.
  9. Have deadlines in your life goals as well. Time Management is very important.
  10. Be Happy for others. Learn from them but do not envy.
  11. Use Social Media to socialize as it is intended to do.
  12. Focus on the utility and affordability of things before owning.

What not to do?

The task is not accomplished if we do not drop the rotten apples of the basket. Good work along with the bad one remaining reduces the efficacy of the result.

  1. Do not peep into others life through any medium. Social media is what I am talking about.
  2. Do not maintain a hypothetical list of things which others are getting.
  3. Do not be a bragger in the conversation.
  4. Do not discuss people, discuss their ideas.
  5. Do not run into people for advice on your life.
  6. Do not compare your numbers and ranks with others, instead work on getting better than yourself.

Conclusion

Lifestyle, Career, Financial or whatever comparison is in your mind, it is totally worthless. This will lead you to depression, overthinking and inferiority complex and all sorts of troubles you can think of. Love the way you are. Work on your skills, your goals, your targets. Love your life and your way of living.

For Readers

  • Do you think, you have gone through this in your past? What you did to overcome?
  • Is the article helpful to you in any way?
  • Do comment and let us know your thoughts.
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5 Comments

  1. I am not competitive so I’m generally not comparing myself to others, but it’s true that at sometimes it can be tempting and it’s never a good idea…

    Like

  2. If we ever have to look at the life of others it should be to be inspired or to learn from them. Comparison like you have stated is unnecessary. It may fuel a person with a motivation that’s not sustainable. So let’s be happy for others and learn to grow in our paths.

    Like

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